Once you get married or in a committed relationship, you may think about your first time getting intimate together. Also, you might be curious and at the same time nervous, anxious and even confused about the whole thing. Since it is your first time, do not feel pressurized to make the experience perfect. Be easy on yourself, it can help you manage your anxiety.
Your first-time sexual experience will help you learn about each other’s bodies and desires. It is okay if it does not go the way you had planned since it is not necessary to figure it all out at once. So, the next time you indulge in sex, it will invigorate all sorts of feelings and emotions within and as a result, you will be able to make sex work for you two.
In addition, along with gaining a deeper understanding of sex and pleasure. It is equally important for getting yourself acquainted with practices of safe sex. It is necessary to make use of protection for the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and birth control methods to avoid unwanted pregnancy.
Performance Anxiety During First Sex
It is quite evident that you might get a bit nervous and anxious before your first sexual encounter. There is nothing wrong with that, it is normal to feel that way. The best remedial solution to this problem is mindfulness meditation. Mindful breathing and meditation improve your ability to sense your physiological responses to sexual stimulation.
In addition, intense eye contact, as well as gentle touching and caressing, can have a calming effect that can help get rid of mental clutter and instill deep relaxation. These small gestures can establish a sense of safety and reliability between you and your partner.
Will First-time Sex Hurt?
Penetrative vaginal sex can hurt for the first time. This may be caused due to several reasons including tense pelvic floor muscles, lack of lubrication, anxiety, and pressure on the hymen during deep penetration. Some women may experience pain due to the splitting or tearing of their hymen which is a membrane or a piece of tissue that covers the vaginal opening. Although not every woman has a hymen, even if they do, chances are, it might not get torn during intercourse.
When it comes to first sex, consent is the key. Both of you are willing to engage in consensual sex will make it easier for arousal. The vagina produces natural lubrication after attaining complete arousal after sexual stimulation (foreplay) which can help with easy penetration. Vaginal lubrication reduces pain due to friction or thrusting during vaginal intercourse. You two must indulge in a prolonged foreplay session that can make your sexual experience more comfortable as well as pleasurable.
In men, pain during and after penetrative sex can indicate infection (thrush, STIs). It could be due to a tight foreskin, tears or cuts in the foreskin, allergic reactions, inflammation, testicular pain and swelling, and priapism or prolonged erection. Hence, men should not feel pain during penetrative sex unless something is wrong.
How Can You Avoid Pain During Sex?
An ample amount of time spent on foreplay can warm you up before the main act as it relaxes your muscles completely and prepares your body for sex. Prolonged foreplay produces more vaginal lubrication, making sex more comfortable. As a result, the penile will become erect and the vagina will become wet due to lubrication. So, do not rush into the main act, enjoy foreplay by being in the present moment. Let us have a look at some tips to avoid the pain:
Slow down and feel the sensations
Going slow allows your body to feel the sensations and adjust according to them. By doing so you will get to learn what specifically feels good to you and your partner and what does not.
Be open to communicating during the discomfort
You should be able to freely communicate and consent to each activity. In case you experience any kind of discomfort or pain you should be able to come to terms easily by agreeing on sex stops if anyone does not wish to continue.
Use plenty of lubrication
Sometimes, a person may not be able to produce enough lubrication despite getting absolute sexual arousal and there may be several physiological or psychological reasons behind that. So it is better to go for a store-bought lubricant that can help you with easy penetration. Also, those who have to perform anal sex will need a lot of lubrication as it does not produce its lubrication.
Try different positions
Pain can result due to your sex position. Your position can cause discomfort due to the angle of penetration which can hit deep within the vagina and cervix or irritate the skin during thrusting. It is better to go for the position which ensures maximum pleasure along with absolute comfort.
Make it more comfortable
You can make your sexual penetration easy by clitoral stimulation to relax tensed muscles and increase pleasure. If the session lasts for a long time, use lubrication. And lastly, if it still hurts during penetration, consider changing your position and going slow initially.
How To Practice Safe Sex?
Due to the worry of getting pregnant, many women might even abstain from having sex. In such a case, it is necessary to overcome your fear by getting yourself acquainted with preventative measures. By learning more about the different methods of contraception and birth control designed according to their suitability. You can pick any of these methods with the help of your partner or a healthcare provider.
In addition, you can make use of male and female condoms that can help prevent unwanted pregnancy and also, provide added protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Apart from condoms, you can also opt for various other methods of birth control. It includes a diaphragm, cervical cap, sponge, spermicide, and hormonal birth control such as contraceptive pills and patches.
Moreover, you can opt for any method of contraception whichever seems appropriate to you. Along with that, tracking your ovulation is a more effective way to avoid the chances of an unwanted pregnancy. The period of ovulation is the most fertile time in the menstrual cycle or a month. It generally occurs around 14 days after your menstrual period in an average 28-day menstrual cycle.
Therefore, it is necessary to use protection during your first time, to stay protected against sexually transmitted diseases as well as from getting pregnant.