why cant i orgasm

Why Can’t I Get Orgasm

Not being able to reach orgasm can be distressing for everyone, regardless of gender. But for those who identify as male, it can be particularly draining. The male orgasm is often portrayed as easy and explosive (watch a porn movie and this will be abundantly clear). For this reason, man’s difficulty in achieving orgasm is perhaps one of the most stigmatized sexual issues.

Not only are these difficulties rarely discussed in society, but they are also rarely studied in sex research. Perhaps that’s because delayed ejaculation (the proper term for it) is fairly rare. It is estimated that between 1-4% of people who identify as male experience delayed ejaculation; compared to the 30% who ejaculate prematurely, the number is small. For this 4%, difficulties arise when they have sexual relations with someone. Going out alone is usually easier. Not being able to orgasm is difficult and can lead to low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and relationship problems.

Reasons For Men’s Difficulties With Orgasm

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of difficulty achieving orgasm, it is important to determine what we mean when we talk about difficulty achieving orgasm. In men and people with penile, orgasm and ejaculation usually occur simultaneously. However, they are two separate events. This means that you can ejaculate without having the orgasmic experience and have what is known as a dry orgasm, an orgasm without ejaculation.

Since most people experience ejaculation and orgasm at the same time, this blog post will refer to them as a combined experience. Having trouble orgasm from time to time is perfectly normal. Our sexual function fluctuates, which means things like sexual desire, erectile function, and the ability to have an orgasm change.

If your difficulties do not occur regularly, they are likely to resolve on their own quickly. While we do not know enough about delayed ejaculation, there are some things we do know and treatments that can be effective. The key here is to accept that it may take time to figure it out and that the solution is to understand. Your sexual fantasies are more exciting than actual sex If there is a big difference between having sex with a partner and your sexual fantasies during masturbation, it is probably one of the reasons why you have a hard time dating a partner.

Fantasizing about someone other than your partner (very common!) or people with a certain body type (one your partner does not have). You might even fantasize about people of the opposite sex or sexual activities that you and your partner never or rarely engage in together. Or maybe you use porn while masturbating.


If they do not watch porn, for example during partner sex, these negative thought patterns can resurface and inhibit orgasm. That is not to say that people who orgasm easily always fantasize about their partner. The pleasure experienced during sex with a partner simply cannot be compared to the pleasure of masturbating, with or without porn. And the powerful effect this excitement has on us also provides a distraction from negative thoughts.

The technique used during masturbation is not used in partner sex. The difficulty of reaching orgasm with a partner is often a matter of technique, regardless of gender. Typically, the technique used during masturbation is difficult to replicate in partner sex. Apply a lot of pressure, use a high speed, or extensively stimulate a specific point on the penile. The specific way you masturbate can make it difficult to achieve the same intense stimulation in partner sex.

Reasons Why Women Cannot Achieve Orgasm

You Have High Anxiety

Anxiety can cause intrusive thoughts that may make it difficult to orgasm. a 2018 survey indicated that more than half of the women surveyed cited anxiety as a reason for why they struggled to achieve orgasm. Often people find themselves ‘getting in their head’ during sex or masturbation.

You Are Too Focused On the Results

Putting too much emphasis on achieving orgasm can make sex feel like a goal-oriented task and make intimacy more work than pleasure, but lust, excitement, sensuality, and connection elude us and elude us. People often say, “I focus more,” when in fact the antidote is to focus less and try to enjoy and be more present. When a woman tries too hard to orgasm, there’s a

percent chance she’s missing out.  on the desire and joy in one’s own body.

You Wear High Heels

Not only are high heels painful to walk on, but wearing them can also have a deforming effect on your psoas muscles, which are connected to the muscles and nerves that lead to your pelvic floor, genitals, and related organs explains the expert. Avoid wearing them as much as possible and opt for more comfortable and supportive shoes.

You Spend Most Of The Day Sitting

Chaining yourself to your desk might make your boss happy, but it’s bad news for your pelvic floor muscles. Sitting all day shortens them, and this can lead to pelvic pain, which can make orgasm difficult. Levels, a libido-reducing protein, could be responsible for your inability to climax.

You Forgot To Urine Before Sex

Everyone knows that you need to urinate right after sex to prevent a UTI, but it is also wise to do it sooner. It can be incredibly difficult to achieve orgasm when your bladder is full. The reason is simple: instead of being in the moment, you constantly feel the pressure to urinate and pray you don’t do it in bed.

You Do Not Talk About What You Want

You are a mind reader and neither are your partners. Therefore, being silent about what turns you on won’t help you climax. Also, every woman is different, so movements and angles that feel amazing for one person might not be for another. It is important to feel comfortable and secure with a partner and to be able to share the types of sexual acts or caresses that you enjoy.

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